I was gonna tell you tonight
by Timeforachange
Summary: They were gonna spend the evening together. It's MacStella. Song - Alone by Heart


~I hear the ticking of the clock

I'm lying here the rooms pitch-dark

I wonder where you are tonight

No answer on the telephone

And the night goes by so very slow

Oh I hope that it won't end though

Alone~

Mac was in his office looking over some files that needed to be done by now. He had had so many cases that the paperwork had had to wait and now it was time to get it done. He looked at the pile of paperwork that he hadn't done throughout the week.

"Why did I have to wait this long?" Mac asked himself. He remembered the day he wanted to do the paperwork, but Stella had convinced him to go to the bar with her and get a drink. It had been a fun night. He had really enjoyed it. He had asked Stella that night if she wanted to go out with him, on a date. He had thought about asking her for so many years, but had always been too scared of her answer. That night though he had asked her, maybe because of the beer, and she had agreed to go out with him.

The date was tonight and Mac had to get those paperwork done. He was glad that he was alone in the office, because he knew if Stella was there he wouldn't get any work done. It made him sad to see her leave earlier that night, but he knew it was to his advantage. He had gotten a call about a homicide and had sent Stella and Danny to the scene, he didn't want any more cases before the once on his desk was done. And by sending Stella and Danny, he would get some time to prepare for the dinner that night.

The time was going by fast. Mac watch his clock and saw that he had been doing paperwork for the past 3 hours. He decided it was time to go home and prepare for his date with Stella. He had thought about what they should do and decided on making a nice dinner for her and then watch some movies. He didn't want to go out, mostly because Stella might be too tired to go out after their case, so a nice dinner at home would be fine. Mac walked through the lab to see if Danny and Stella were back yet. When he didn't find them he asked some of the lab workers if they had seen them come back, but the only answer he got was that they hadn't seen them. On the way to the locker room Mac decided to call Stella and hear if they would be done soon. He got his cellphone out and dialled Stella's number. She didn't answer so Mac tried again. When she didn't answer on the third try he decided to go home and get ready.

When he got into his car he started to think about Stella. He was glad that he finally asked her out, even though he had had a beer. That night he was glad that Stella had taken him to the bar, because he didn't know when to ask her out, and that night he felt it was the right moment to ask her. He got into traffic and was headed home when he began to think about Stella again. This time it was his feelings that were driving him. Part of the plan for tonight was to tell Stella how he felt. He was going to tell Stella that he was in love with her and had been for a long time. Mac had played the scene where he was going to tell her through his head all day and it wasn't leaving him now. When he got home he had to take a shower to get his mind to think about something else, not that his thoughts were bad, but if he didn't focus he wouldn't last long.

~Till now I always got by on my own

I never really cared until I met you

And now it chills me to the bone

How do I get you alone

How do I get you alone~

After Mac finished his shower he got dressed and went into the kitchen to start dinner. When the dinner was ready to go into the oven Mac's cellphone ringed.

"Taylor" Mac answered

"Mac, it's Don. I'm afraid I have some bad news." Flack answered

"What? What is it?" Mac asked in fear

"Mac don't be mad at me..." Flack said

"What? Why would I be mad at you? Just tell me what happened" By now Mac really wanted to know why Flack was so afraid to tell him.

"Okay, but promise you won't be mad at me"

"I will" Mac answered. He just really wanted to know what happened. He had this feeling that something was really wrong, but couldn't seem to see what it was.

"I'm at the hospital, because Stella..." Flack couldn't tell Mac the rest of the sentence because Mac interrupted him.

"WHAT??? What happened to Stella? Is she okay? Is she hurt? Please tell me she is okay" Mac praised to God that Stella wasn't hurt.

"Well... she's in surgery right now..." was the only thing Flack could say before Mac interrupted him again.

"SHE IN SURGERY? Flack what the hell happened?" Mac asked, but before Flack could answer Mac said "Don't tell me now, just tell me when I get there. I'm on my way."

"Okay Mac. See you when you get here. Do you want me to call the others?" Flack asked before Mac could end the call.

"Ohhh... I don't know. Do what you want" Mac answered. Flack could tell by the sound of his voice that all Mac cared about right now was that Stella would be okay.

When Mac hanged up the phone he was half way down to his car. He had never imagined that this would happened today. It had been a wonderful day, except the paperwork, but he had lived with that. The thing he had been most exited about today, was his dinner with Stella. But this one case had stopped that dinner. He would not see Stella in his apartment this evening and he would not have the opportunity to tell her how he feels.

In his car, Mac droved as fast as he could to the hospital. Probably breaking all the speeding laws on his way to the hospital, but he didn't mind. All he could think of was Stella in the hospital hurt, and that was the last thing he wanted for Stella. She had suffered so much already.

~You don't know how long I have wanted

To touch your lips and hold you tight

You don't know how long I have waited

And I was going to tell you tonight

But the secret is still my own

And my love for you is still unknown

Alone~

Mac drove his car into the parking lot of the hospital and hurried into the waiting room. Mac walked in through the door and saw Flack right away. He hurried over to him to asked him about any changes in Stella's condition.

"Is she okay? What happened? Where is she?" Was the only words that could come out of Mac's mouth.

"I haven't heard from the doctors since we came in" Was all Flack could answer. He was really feeling guilty for not being able to keep Stella safe. He could see how worried Mac was and could only hope that Stella would pull through.

As time went by and no one had come out to speak to them, Mac started to get worried. He couldn't take it any more. He was going crazy just sitting there doing nothing, so he started walking around the waiting room. About half an hour, after Mac got to the hospital, Flack had called Danny to tell him they had arrived and that he should go get Lindsay and Hawkes because he couldn't stand seeing Mac like this. (Danny had stayed at the scene to finish what they had started) Flack had tried everything to get Mac to calm down, but nothing had worked. So he was desperate and needed the help from the team. As they arrived they could see Mac walking around the waiting room like some freak. He didn't look at them when they said "hey" the only thing he did was looking down at the ground.

"He has been like this for the past hour and I don't know what to do" Flack told the others

"Have you tried talking to him?" Hawkes asked

"Yes, but he won't listen"

"Mac, could you please tell us what's on your mind?" Danny tried, but got no answer. He looked at the others and said "I don't know what to do. Normally I would go find Stella to do this kind of stuff" the others could only nod at that. They all knew the only one who could get Mac to calm down was Stella.

"Mac please come and sit. She will be just find" Hawkes tried. He only wanted Mac to respond, which he did this time.

"How can you be so sure. You don't know what's wrong with her. Nobody knows what's wrong with her and those damn doctors won't come and tell me" the last sentence came out as a whisper. For once this evening the team could see tears in Mac's eyes and they knew this was really taking its toll on him, because Mac would never show his feelings for the team.

In the next couple of minutes the only thing the team could do was watch Mac. The could tell that this really affected him in every way. Lindsay was the first to break the silent.

"Mac, are you okay? Please sit down, it doesn't help to walk around the room..." but before she could say more the doors to the waiting room opened and Sid came in. Flack had called him 20 minutes ago, because he hoped that maybe Sid could get Mac to calm down.

"So it's this bad, hah"

"Sid, we have tried everything but nothing is helping. He won't calm down" Danny said to Sid as Sid looked at Mac. Sid walked up to Mac and putted a hand on Mac's shoulder.

"Hey Mac. I know this a hard for you, but you need to calm down and sit. This isn't going to help" Sid tried. He knew Mac would be like this, but he hadn't expected it to be this bad. For the first time, that evening, Mac listened to what was said and sat down on the nearest chair. He kept his head in his hands and just looked down at the floor. Sid could tell by the movements of Mac's shoulders that he had started to cry.

"Mac it's okay for you to cry" Sid said as he tried to comfort Mac. He looked up at the others and asked if they could go get something to drink. They nodded and went out of the room. Sid turned his attention back to Mac who by this time had broken down completely.

"What is it? What is on your mind, that do you need to get out? I know there is something, because you would never break down like" Mac didn't answer so Sid tried again "Mac please tell me, I don't like seeing you like this. And Stella wouldn't like seeing you like this either. So please talk to me" Sid begged.

"I don't know what I would do if I lose her" Mac said with tears running down his cheeks. "I know, she is your best friend so of course you will feel like that"

"That's just it. I don't think I could just be her friend Sid"

"What do you mean?" Sid asked

"We were going out on a date tonight, or we should have. So when this case came in I had to send Stella and Danny. I had told myself to call it an early night and get ready for out date this evening. I had made up my mind about one thing that I had to say to her, tonight. I was going to tell her that she means a lot to me and that I have feeling for her, more than what friends should have for each others. I was going to tell her that I love her" Mac couldn't take it any more and broke down again. But this time Sid comforted him. "But I didn't get to tell her" Mac said in a whisper.

"Don't say that, she will pull through and you can tell her when she wakes up" Sid said not only to Mac but also to himself. He could feel his own tears starting to form in his eyes. The fact that Mac had opened up this much showed that he really did care for Stella and would be lost without her. He also thought it was about time they showed their love for each other. So here he was with a crying Mac by his side when the team entered. They all looked at Mac and then up at Sid with a question mark in their eyes.

"I will tell you later" Sid tried to say, without Mac finding out. He knew Mac wouldn't allow him to tell the others, but he thought they should know.

Within the next 30 minutes a doctor came out to tell them that Stella was out of surgery and should make a full recovery. This statement made everyone happy, but most of all Mac. He went over to the doctor and asked if he could she her. The doctor told Mac that he would come get him when Stella was taken to her room.

~Till now I always got by on my own

I never really cared until I met you

And now it chills me to the bone

How do I get you alone

How do I get you alone

How do I get you alone

How do I get you alone

Alone, alone~

Mac walked down the corridor to Stella's room. He was deep in his thoughts. One of the things he was thinking was the fact that Stella could have died today. The thought of losing her made him want to cry, but he wouldn't let himself do that. He also thought about how this night should have ended. He should have had her in his arms, just hold her tight and tell her how much he loved her. It should have been far more romantic than this. The desire to tell Stella about his feeling towards her grew stronger tonight. The thought of losing her made him realize how his life would be without her in it. It made him want to tell her those three little words, that are so strong, now more than ever and to always have her by his side. As he was nearing her room the last thing he thought about was how it would affect him if she hadn't survive and the fact that he would never be able to tell her _"I love you"_. When he was in front of her room he took a deep breath and entered.

"Hey how are you feeling?"

Stella looked at him with a smile "I'm fine now. I'm sorry I ruined out date"

"Don't worry about that. I'm just glad you are okay" Mac said as he took hold of Stella's hand and squeezed it.

"But I'm still sorry. I most have scared you" Stella stated

"You did, but seeing you alive makes it a lot easier" Mac said and took a seat in the chair next to the bed. Stella could sense that Mac had something on his mind, but couldn't read in his eyes what it was. Normally she could.

"Mac?" Stella asked and got his attention "What's on your mind?"

"Umh... not much. Just thinking"

"What are you thinking about?" Stella tried. But he didn't say anything "Come on you can tell me"

"I.. I was just really scared tonight that's all" Mac said still thinking about how to tell her. After a couple of minutes Mac looked up at Stella and saw her staring at him. "Mac what is it? There are more to it. I can see it in your eyes"

"I just can't lose you, that's all"

"You will never lose me Mac. And if it makes you feel better and can't lose you either"

"You can't?" Mac was glad Stella said that to him it pushed him into saying what he felt about her "Stella, I care about you.." Mac was cut of by Stella before he could say more "I care about you too Mac"

"Please Stella just let me say this. As I said I care about you, and tonight made me realize just how much you mean to me. At dinner tonight I was going to show you how much that is, but when I got the call from Flack I knew that I might have been to late to tell you" Mac took a deep breath "I was going to tell you that I love you. And I do trust me. This night just made me realize that my love for you is much more than love. I can't describe it, I don't have words to describe it. But I can tell you that what I feel for you is beyond love"

Stella just sat in her bed. Her eyes had locked with Mac's and she couldn't move. "Mac... I don't know what to say.... I didn't know you felt that way, but I'm glad you do because that is the way I feel about you. I love you Mac" Stella couldn't hold back the tears any more and just let them roll down her cheeks.

Mac took Stella's head into his hands and gently planted a kiss on her mouth. As he pulled back he missed to closeness to her and leaned in for another kiss. Stella responded to the kiss and it became more passionately.

Sid had told the team about what Mac had told him while they went to get something to drink. They all hoped Mac and Stella would end up together, because the were belonged together. They all stood outside Stella's room and waited for Mac to come and let them in. He had called 5 minutes ago and told them to come. As he opened the door they could see the big grin he had on his face and they were glad that he was in a better mood.

"Hey Stella how are you?" Lindsay asked as she ran over to the bed. "I'm fine"

"So I can see that you made Mac feel a lot better. How did that happen?" Flack wanted to know.

Mac and Stella looked at each other and smiled "Flack you don't want to know"

**Please tell me what you think. **


End file.
